A COVENTRY teenager who sexually abused his five-year-old half-sister after being encouraged on a messaging app sought a children’s charity’s help to prevent his fantasies.
He spoke to the NSPCC about how he developed sexual temptation for her and subsequently molested her.
He and the charity hope opening up a dialogue about relationships and sexual education can improve awareness of young people who experience sexual abuse by a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, an ex-partner or another young person.
He said: “From about the age of 13, I was talking to people on the internet. But some of those people obviously weren’t very nice and they started sending me inappropriate images of children. And after a while, I started thinking ‘is this okay?”
“They started sending me photographs and then I would send photos back. They started to say ‘have you ever thought about doing something with your siblings?’ I said no but then I did start thinking about it.”
He says he began trading images on messenger app Kik as he was induced into trusting the people he spoke to.
He continued: “I started to spend a lot more time with my half-sister. When I went round my dad’s house, me and my half-sister, we would go upstairs and watch TV together and play puzzles.
“Sometimes when I went round my dad’s place, I started thinking ‘there’s no one here, I could do this’. But I would always find some reason to stop at that point. But one week I just didn’t stop.
“There was a part of me that was shouting ‘this is wrong, why are you doing this?’, but I didn’t stop.
“I was angry at myself. And I was angry at everyone else. It isn’t healthy fantasising about it but fantasy and reality are two different things.
“I’d crossed from fantasy to reality and I’d gone and hurt someone. I’d potentially gone and ruined someone’s life.”
He wants other young people who have similar thoughts or commit similar actions to know there is help out there for them through the NSPCC’s Turn The Page programme.
He said: “If I hadn’t been talking to these people online, I wouldn’t have got into this pattern of thinking, let alone gone and done something.
“My parents called the police and I was 15 when I was arrested. I was in a police cell for hours before a police officer interviewed me.
“I pleaded guilty to all offences and was given a five-year sexual offences prevention order. I look back at what happened with regret because I realise now that behind every one of those photos, there was a person with their lives in complete tatters.”
He says the support he received after October 2016 from the NSPCC and his counsellor Matthew has been invaluable at helping him conquer his fantasies.
He said: “With Matthew, we’ve been going over anger management, healthy sexual behaviour and keeping boundaries between people. We also came up with an ‘escape plan’ for if I do feel my emotions are getting too strong and if I don’t trust myself in a situation. Matthew has helped me to recognise, manage and rearrange some of my thinking.
“My mum and stepdad have completely supported me. If you’d seen me a year ago compared to now, you’d think I was another person. I’ve gained an understanding of my emotions and can control my emotions a lot better.
“No matter what I do, I can’t go back and change what happened. But I’m trying to make up for what’s happened.
“If there are other young people who have similar kinds of experiences to me, then I want them to know that they can go to the NSPCC. You’re not going to be in a judging environment. There are things I’ve told Matthew that would probably get me in trouble if I told other people.
“But he’s been completely calm about things. He’s not judged me at all. He listened.”
Over 3000 young people in the UK have been in contact with Childline’s confidential hotline for counselling services regarding sexual abuse committed by themselves or another young person close to them.
Almost half this number is children aged between 12 and 15 but a further 114 were with children aged 11 and under.
At Childline’s Birmingham base it undertook 457 counselling sessions with children last year.
